To My Fellow Millennial Women: Not Married Yet? Get Over It.

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The first couple times I saw one of these little witty remarks on someecards, I thought it was hilarious. You know, because I was 22 and it seemed like everyone really was getting married while I was at the bar crying to the bathroom attendant about my life. But, four years later, this whole concept of millennial women shaming other millennials who are getting married or the self-deprecating “humor” that just comes with still being single at 25 (God Forbid!) has become exasperating.

The other day, I received a message from a friend who told me she felt depressed because one of her good friends had just gotten engaged while she still had zero prospects for marriage. I wanted to comfort her, but I was at a loss for words.

Look, we’re human–I understand we can’t always control how we feel. (Admittedly, sometimes, when I have relationship issues, I convince myself I’m going to die alone while eating cat treats.) But we need to get over this feeling of competition when it comes to life’s big milestones. If it weren’t for social media, we would have zero idea what 98% of the girls from our pledge classes are up to on a daily basis. Millennials use Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, et al. as a benchmark for milestones, and it’s time to stop it.

To my fellow millennial ladies, please stop pretending like your friends are throwing their lives away while you get to live yours to the fullest … or on the other side of the spectrum, like your life is pathetic and meaningless because your timeline is a little different. Be genuinely happy for your friends, and not just to their faces or in replies to their posts on social media. What I mean is, quit being a green monster and internally hating on other people’s big moments because of your issues. (Unless they’re oversharing every single detail about their wedding tiara or their kid’s poop schedule. Then you’re completely allowed to be a hater because those annoy everyone.)

Focus on your career, staying healthy, personal improvement … and, if that doesn’t work, remember that your time will come, too. It might come sooner than you think. (Don’t believe me? Just watch an episode of “I Didn’t Know I Was Pregnant.” You’re welcome.)

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